Real life blog 1

excerpt from a chat with a new friend. i am really sweet. i go out of my way to perform for men that most girls wouldn’t. months ago i started chatting with a sweet boy he told me he couldn’t cam because he was disfigured. he was in a major car accident and lost almost all his teeth. his dentures are super painful. if you saw him on the streets you would think he was a meth head. i told him it didn’t matter. i liked who he is and i wanted to give him pleasure. teeth are a big deal for me. i never thought i could get sexual with a boy without them. i was the first girl to treat him decent in three years. now we are really good friends. i think of him as my only true friend a lot of the timewhen i did my last cam show live he had just got out of the emergency room for pulling a muscle in his back. i begged him to watch me perform. i told him i would devote the whole show to making him so horny he had to whack off despite a pulled muscle. it was priceless he couldn’t type. but half way through my show he sent me a pic of his hard dick and told me i won. i think so to. it’s all most better for good friends not to read my blog. it’s too personal. it’s something that can paint me in the wrong light. my friend in india thought my tales of sexploitation would tarnish my image. i wrote almost one hundred pages of single spaced blogging about why i have no fear what people think of me. i described my rational. i described another friend who also told me i was too sexual. i know no one will read it. i dedicated it to my friends from nursing school who saw me fat, bald, overflowing with anxiety and almost in a break down. for me to write that blog is a celebration that we all grew up. we all changed. most of them are nurses. some had babies. one lost her mother who i met. I ended up being the fat shy balding girl on the verge of becoming a porn star. its a fun story to tell. that’s good writing. so what if women or men think im a slut. Me: a lot of men can’t handle the way i communicate. the big joke is that i **** people with letters. sometimes im not in the mood to blog and i just want one person to share my thoughts. i letter ****d my male best friend last night. it was harsh. it will take him hours to read it. i also write in one steady stream of conscious style. i refuse proper formatting and i know my huge blocks of text are harder to read because i don’t capitalize, indent or form proper paragraphs. i apologize for eye strain. when im in the mood to write i get joy from seeing that large block of text. im selfish about writing. i don’t make it easy. but i do it which makes me special. so many people cant write an essay or tell a story. i do it with an addiction like crack cocaine. i tell people im a word whore. i warn new friends to feel anally ****d by a long letter. anonymous 2: thats fine with me, i don’t mind reading it in paragraph or in small chunks everything is just fine with me. other than camming with friends, tell me about your sexual life. i hope you don’t mind sharing it with me i joke im the chick that never gets laid. it’s always been that way. i transitioned from a fat dork in glasses and ugly clothes into a hot chick in one day. i got contacts. i wore a short skirt and a tight low cut green blouse that made my eyes look beautiful. i look amazing in green. suddenly i went from being an outcast to being popular. that year of eighth grade and the summer before high school i think i broke every law except arson and murder. I kept it secret from my religious academic friends in the accelerated program. they would have dropped me as a friend if they knew i was fucking, hitchhiking, smoking pot, drinking, shoplifting and more. i led a double life. Comments (8) linmarris Post Comment linmarris 11 days ago my lion, I don’t get it. I don’t understand why other people don’t have the insatiable urge to express themselves. I know it drives me crazy. I need to do this. One year ago when I started writing all night I did ‘find myself.’ It was an awakening. I know I have not reached true enlightenment. However, if I’m awake then I’m working towards it. Maybe I’m oldschool with a desire to be self-actualized. I don’t give a shit. I left facebook because all my old friends seem to be sleeping. Their posts make me sad. I switch between letting men know about my blog and asking them for feedback to giving up hope it will be read. Men still ask me if I’m real. I tell them to read me and decide. They found a real woman on this site doing things the right way and it freaks them out. Men can’t usually handle a woman like me. There is a pattern. They are entertained for a week and move on. I’m too damn difficult. Only a lion can see my potential. Reply in reply to bigsquirter69 (Show the comment) linmarris 11 days ago awe reb baby you are so good to me. I know i have been missing and you sent me a skype message a few minutes ago. Don’t think I’m ignoring you. I’m just on a mission to reply to so many missed comments Reply in reply to rebz10 (Show the comment) bigsquirt… 20 days ago I wish more people could find themselves and express themselves as you are able to. How you put it down matters not, that fact that you do does. Thanks for sharing Reply rebz10 24 days ago I have no problem reading long messages/post from you. it will take time to read thou. im kinda slow reader. Reply linmarris 1 month ago there wii be much more my sweet dion Reply in reply to diondoesit_bbc (Show the comment) diondoesi… retired 1 month ago No doll you’re not too much at all. I can take more of you. Reply in reply to linmarris (Show the comment) linmarris 1 month ago thank you so much. im flattered. some men tell me im ‘too much’ i would rather be ‘too much’ than ‘too little’ Reply in reply to diondoesit_bbc (Show the comment) diondoesi… retired 1 month ago I love the way you express who you are and how you feel. Say what you wanna say. Nurse or porn star, you’re fucking hot and very interesting. Reply

linmarris