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the profile that flopped

Before I change profiles I have to keep this one for posterity. It was such an epic fail. I have to face the fact my best intentions were going to fuck me up. Everything about this profile is so me. I can laugh about it. You would think it limited the men who contacted me. It didn’t change. You would’ve thought men would take me up on an offer to have cam sex in exchange for reading a good blog and leaving feedback. I wasn’t asking a man to that much and offered a reward that was legit. It you read chapter 3 you learned how I write when I peak. You know my life has been filled with challenges. No one on a porn site gives a shit. It’s a blessing. I set myself up. If hundreds of men read it and commented I would have been a free porn show for the masses. I have a pm box with a thousand variations of c2c? Not one man read the instructions how to get it. Irony is this profile could’ve ruined my damn life.It was simple. I love cam sex. I get too many requests. If I want to do it then I would’ve reserved it for men who supported my writing. I would like my sex life back. I wanted to do it with smart men who had respect for me. My heart is pure. I really am that easy. Men just don’t read. There are around ten good men that do. You know who you are. When I can cam again it will be an honor to please you. If your name isn’t on my comment list for chapter 3 then you lost that gift. I am dreading what I have to do. I have to replace a profile that is real and has merit with one that focuses on sex alone. I’m at least going to make it good.

Good friends would tell me to watch my length. As a man you don’t understand. I know from experience that a short profile makes men who barely speak english who live in nasty countries harass a girl like me non-stop. Length keeps them at bay. It has to be long to intimidate fuckers looking for a free cam show from a hot american chick. I wish my profile was a success. I would’ve loved to reward feedback with cam sex. If you can’t respect me for that then what on earth do you respect? So this is going to be posted for posterity. Maybe some man in the future will read it and find out who I really am and what I would’ve liked to have happen. Then I will start from scratch. Give me feedback even if it is criticism because I do need your advice if I write another flawed profile.

was rather attached to my first profile. It got a lot of compliments. Maybe that’s the problem. Let me introduce myself. I go by the name linda marris. You can call me lin. I’m real. I’m totally different from most chicks on xhamster. Fuck it. I’m totally different from most women. I don’t get along with most women. You have to admit they are usually shallow,vain, materialistic, attention seeking bitches. I prefer the company of men. I’m unusual because I’m 32 and I’ve never been married. I also can’t have c***dren. That’s why I can play on a porn site.

There is another reason I’m different. I’m severely bi-polar. We are not all crazy cunts that have mood swings. I was taught to hide the illness and try to pass as normal. Instead I try to educate people. It is not something to be ashamed of. It is simply an issue of abnormal serotonin levels and an inability to have natural sl**p. It also affects people in different ways. You can have a slight inclination of the illness or you can be like me. I have broken my body’s ability to use any amount of normal sl**ping pills to fall asl**p. That’s what makes me different. I rely on a hard-core brand new tranquilizer to sl**p. When I wake up I need a hard-core stimulant to fight the sedation from the tranquilizer. So I live on a speedball. I’m truly unable to work a normal job.

I got denied disability and medicaid. In florida earning those things takes years and a lawyer. I depend on private healthcare and medicine that cost a fortune. However, I am willing to bust my ass and work hard. It’s degrading to mix sex and money. It doesn’t matter. Soon I will register here and on chatturbate to be a cam girl. If you were penniless and you needed medicine you would figure out to make it happen. I didn’t learn how to do it by watching women. I’ve been on xhamster a little over a hundred days. I let men teach me what they want a woman to be when she performs. They just happen to be looking for a chick like me. I’m nice. I’m kinky. I’m smart. I have natural tits that are busting out of a 38 DDD. I also adore making men cum. Even if I didn’t need money I would perform for free just to see a man get off. Don’t think I’m a con artist who wants your money.

I want something else. I want your friendship. I’m a writer and an artist. For me cam sex is will be important for two reasons. Allowing men who want to tip me will do more than buy the medicine to keep me alive. You can look at my artwork and know I’m legit. I studied fine art in college. All my work is able to be reproduced by my mentor who owns a printing store. I plan to set up a website, let galleries worldwide know about it and sell it to men like you. I will make it affordable. Being a cam girl will allow me to print it and get it in galleries. Even more than that I will be able to let people find it and purchase it cheaply. If I become a major name in the art world people who buy it cheap can retire for purchasing it so early in my career. I hold my head up high when it comes to mixing sex with money. When you are truly an artist you will do anything on earth to hang on walls. It’s one of the reasons I write.

I have never been published. I am just beginning to dabble in fictional sex stories. I just switched writing my blog off of facebook to write it here. I am to graphic and sexual for the bullshit facebook garbage. I don’t fuck around when I write. I am highly sexual and it has been a blast writing about sex. At some point if you write a blog you have to stop doing it for feedback. People bitch about the length of my work. It was an issue on facebook. It’s an issue here. I don’t need one motherfucker to read it. I write because I’m passionate about communication. I need to make people laugh. I need to make them think. I need to let people get to know who I am. Some girls do free cam sex to fill a void. I write to fill a void. In every way my blog is my baby.

I’m changing my life one day at a time. You will never meet a woman like me. I let you go deep in my brain and dig around. You can ask questions. You can explore any topic. I will go back to mostly sexual issues. First I want men to understand I’m more than a pretty face. Writing and sexuality are combined. I was swamped with contacts on skype chasing nothing but cam sex. My pm box is so jammed I can’t use it. I need a sex life that doesn’t involve strangers. From no on rules have changed. If you want me you have to be able to read and write. I don’t expect you to read every word. I write as fast as an average person reads. If you were looking for something different then you found me.

My life now revolves around men who comment on my blog. My computer is busted and I can’t cam until I pawn jewelry to buy a new one. When it happens men who left me good comments get cam sex all the time. If you can read about my life and give good feedback I will jump at the chance to make you cum. As a camwhore I will earn money from strangers. Men who read my blog and give me feedback will never be solicited for money. I’m not a sob story begging for money. If you want to enter my life and earn free pleasure all you have to do is read and write. I don’t write garbage. My stories are good. I dare you to find a better blog. I don’t write about kittens and shoes.

One man tonight in a pm basically told me no man would read a word much less chapters for a woman. He’s wrong. I encourage you to enjoy my early sex stories. The true test is when I get personal. The title is Real blog. ‘Part one. Read this if you contact me’ In that blog I begin to tell my story. When I started I was seeking donations towards a new computer and asking men to leave comments to prove I am real a not a manipulative cunt. I had a hundred missed skype messages and I hit them with a message seeking help and support. None of the men on my skype list would read a blog. 95 percent of them will be eliminated. The next blog is short and it warns what I do if a man fucks with my reputation after I help him.

Chapter two describes the trials and tribulations I faced seeking help. It is a total reversal of my first blog. I plan to do this on my own. I am starting over. I don’t need money of feedback. I have so much respect for men who read chapter two I won’t accept money if they try to pay me. I can mix money with sex. I can’t mix money with friendship. Feedback from writing means more to me than money. I can’t wait to pawn my prize possession and be able to cam for those men. I explain how to get my skype ID.

Even if the man who considers me a textbook is right. Even if men won’t read to learn about me nothing changes. The only reason I ask for a comment is to learn new names. All you have to do is say one word. On chapter one a man did it with ease. Any woman can be beautiful. My writing left him speechless. Since so few men read it I can guarantee you get a damn good reply to any comment you make. Yes it earns cam sex. Appearances don’t mean shit. I want your fucking brain. Then I will focus on your dick. This profile will be up a long time. Jump in and play.

linmarris

Post Comment

5 days ago

Don’t get me wrong I would not refused a sexy cam show!. However only thing I have to use a cam show is a hard cock!. in other words I don’t have a cam,skype,catterbate or any of these programs I am rather content with Xhamster and the ability to see real people having S_x. I come from the era of childhood when the sears catalog was the only masturbation aid a boy had. Unless you would sneak in your uncle stash and see a playboy magazine. But WOW! the summer issue of sears was the crrem da cream,or whatever. I just enjoy reading good well written stories. You are a very good writer…..
1 month ago

thank you beedirt. it is a pleasure to meet you. You are exactly write. I do write the way men speak. I know sometimes I huge to many analogies and metaphors. but I try to keep it simple. It took me years of writing to produce a blog that is honest and articulate. Even if a man has no clue what the word articulate means I still try to engage them in my thought processes. I live in a man’s world. I relate better to men than women. I am always evolving and focusing on ways to grasp an audience and entertain and enlighten them. Sometimes I miss the thrill of just writing about sex. But men asked for a real woman and I deliver. I do not think I am flawed. I do not think this forum is flawed. Men like you find me and offer such praise. It is baffling why men want just cam sex when I tell a story that lets them get to know me and understand my sexual nature. In time I have no doubt more men like you will stumble upon my work and see something unique. You made my night with a honest comment that I do not ask men to read garbage they can not understand. I write for them. I write to entertain. I write to give them a chance to meet a good woman who works hard and is more than just a fuckhole to exploit. Some men can’t handle a real woman. They look for a woman who is easy to manipulate and use. By asking men to read I quickly find out who is wasting my time and who I truly want to focus on. I’m not asking them to read more than ten to fifteen minutes every few days. If a man can’t pull it off he is weak and I quickly move on to men like you. Thank you so much for your comment. I am used to running in a man’s world. I can’t make them read me. When they do they are pleasantly surprised that it is just my honest take on situations and not me trying to make them confused. I just want to entertain and enlighten. Very few blogs are dedicated to an honest story straight from the heart.
1 month ago

Strange they do not read, you write in clear short stints no big words or underlining meaning exactly the way men speak with one and other. Just you keep it going and never be putt off by the TL;DR culture of today
2 months ago

Daddy understands I want you to feel better before you join me for anything but thanks for updating me
tanfan4

retired
2 months ago

good morning sexy lady…I hope you are well…check skype baby
2 months ago

daddy im so sorry i may have missed you. I don’t feel good tonight. I don’t know what is wrong. I just had to write. I have a headache which may be part of the problem. Most of all I just realized I haven’t taken my anti-depressant for almost a week. No wonder I hurt all over and I don’t feel like playing sexy time. I’ll be better tomorrow.
2 months ago

I know when I do go live i just use my profile pic. Men will enter my room because they like my face. I have gone live before. My pic is all I need. It makes men see what I have to offer. That is how I stand out. Some chicks go for a full body shot that is crude. My approach I warned you is quite different. Men who enter my room are curious. They want to know if my body is as appealing as my face. I look the right combination of sweet yet my smirk declares deviance. A picture of your smile says a lot. Men who enter my room are not disappointed. In some situations they are pleasantly surprised. I can never match my profile pic to what color hair I wear that night. Men expect a spunky redhead and see a sultry blonde. Sometimes they see an innocent brunette. I show just enough cleavage they expect tits. I don’t show them that my tits are fucking gigantic. Men who expect a pretty face and tits are truly overwhelmed. I can honestly say that I’m not trying to brag. On the other hand I have to brag a bit. My long time best friend has fake tits. Mine are way bigger. Hers are solid with no jiggle factor. My tits are bigger than most implants. Chicks go for a D or DD. I max out with a DDD to E. That is highly rare for a petite girl on a small frame. You’ve seen my videos. They don’t do me justice like a live cam feed. You don’t get to hear me speak. I hate recording myself. When I go live I am giddy and bubbly. I’m also turned on. Men want to know how an innocent chick like me can play. I give them the full experience. From experience all men want to ask me questions and hear me speak. They want mostly tits. They love my pussy. I need a cam that provides a better full body shot and I’m set. Even working from a laptop I can work my body into pussy, belly, tits and face. Men call me out in that position for having great legs. You can’t complain about great thighs. For some men my weight is an issue. They quickly move on. Most men adore my body. It works. I know I’m blessed. I have creamy skin untainted by a single stretch mark or any cellulite. At the same time that I am curvy and round I am hard and firm. Most of all I am nice to each man. I have only done it three times. Apparently it is not normal for a cam girl to be nice. She will only speak to men who provide tokens. I am nice to everyone. From experience I know men find me and want one on one time. I didn’t let it happen because I was having fun in a room. Now it is an option. I can only assure you men who will know me as a cam girl don’t have to read a word. The profile is to meet friends. The profile is to let men who can pay me find out why they should. I am hoping men take me up on my offer to take them off xham for sessions on skype where we can be intimate on a forum where money is salary for a scheduled time each day or week. I plan to look for men who pay for exclusive rights to see me and pay me in money orders not tokens. I want cash. The goal is to stop xham from getting a chunk of my money or a man’s. The right men will jump at the chance to go off the site and into my attic. In time they will truly think of me as a lover and not another cam girl.
2 months ago

Ah ok. I dont watch that kind of cam girls too.
2 months ago

Your comment leaves me speechless. For some reason I can’t help but think about Indiana Jones and the last crusade. To reach the room filled with options that could be the holy grail he must step into the unknown. I think about that scene often. The bridge is invisible and the fall seems unavoidable. In many ways just like Indiana I must toss sand on that bridge to realize solid ground is an option. You have to be ignorant to step off a cliff without proving their is an invisible bridge. This period of preparation is me tossing sand. I don’t know that I can fly. I do know God makes some bridges invisible. An ignorant woman would not look for a bridge. She would turn around and call the crusade impossible. She would try to jump something she could walk across. She would retreat and look for ropes and climbing gear. Not this bitch. I toss sand. I have walked across invisible bridges before. I know where to expect them. I know to have faith they are firm and steady. I prove it with evidence. Then I walk across it and pick the right grail. It isn’t covered in jewels. It is simply the most ancient basic cup in the room.
2 months ago

To each their own. I don’t watch cam girls expect once a day. When I log on to xhamster a girl pops up. Not every chick I see is a skank. Nine times out of ten I see a skank being repulsive. If I don’t address the issue then I can’t describe myself. I’m not a skank. You should’ve seen the woman I saw tonight. She looked like a dead beat stripper stuck in the eighties fucking herself with the biggest toy on the market. I can be like that even for money.
2 months ago

I love your way with words. I do know men will look long and hard to find a pearl. They will bloody their hands in search of one. What makes me laugh is that when a man finds one he tosses it because it isn’t big enough, perfectly round or the perfect shade of white. He never thinks about the beauty involved in the process of turning one grain of sand into something tangible and precious. In many ways I am that pearl that is too big for a necklace. I will never match fifty other identical pearls. They put me in the garbage. Men like you see a gigantic pearl and realize that I am intended to be the center of a pendant and function as the centerpiece. Some men find a large pearl and put me in a box waiting to find fifty more just like me for a necklace. I go in the garbage or in a box on this site. It happens daily. It doesn’t bother me anymore. You’re right I have superior intelligence. I am in this game for the long haul. In time I will be a pendant. If I get lucky instead of the garbage or a box I will be placed on the top of a crown.
2 months ago

Your comment leaves me glowing and giggling. I should check out this NakedNews option. I do take time to absorb. Men rarely realize I am a sponge and use me like a paper towel. I laugh at them because they throw me away not knowing I can be reused and scrub dishes. You are a smart man. You know the men on this site are trying to satisfy their sexual needs. Like morons they are scrubbing pots and pans with a paper towel instead of a sponge. The dumb motherfuckers go through women like a roll of towels and still have dirty dishes. I don’t get it. Not only am I a sponge. I’m a goddamn dishwasher. Why are men standing over a sink with paper towels to do something I make easy with technology? I don’t know why men ignore household appliances. You know it’s true. I only want to clean some crusty pans. I want to make them sterile. Men can be so nasty. They leave the bacteria on dishes to fester. They wonder why they get food poisoning. Only when they find out the dishwasher is cheap and easy will the diarrhea ever end. I keep trying to stop the madness. I only want to make men cum. They are too stupid to load me properly and set a cycle. If you can work your dishwasher we will be great friends.
2 months ago

you will both always be in my thoughts and prayers. Such kindness is rare to find on a porn site. I do have to address a lot of information in a profile. I learned that short and sweet leads to an overdose of contact from men only interested in free cam sex. If you are not clear concerning your needs men will walk all over you. This is a porn site. I am naive. I am slowly learning the ways of the world. I am like you. I prefer a long profile and a good deep blog. I walk past short and simple the same way horny men walk past long and complex. I will not change my own world view to please men. I will stay true to myself even if that means very little contact. I prefer an elite few to a multitude of worthless. At first I planned to promote myself short and sexy. That would lead to a higher audience. I realize that is not my needs. I am an actress. My favorite part is the audition. In that situation I do not have a full auditorium. I have a few friends watching and I have a director. He judges my potential. I perform for him alone. I always do my finest work at auditions. When opening night comes and the house is full rarely can I peak the way I do when only the director is judging me. I usually get the role. The people watching are satisfied. They never know that I was even better at auditions. They just know I am damn good. And everyone is happy.
2 months ago

thank you tan fan!
2 months ago

I am bad with names. I will only call you my sweet teddy bear. Your words always touch me deeply. We share a union. I am an honest woman in a tough situation. I have an open mind and the best intentions. My goals are set small right now. I need a small income to support myself. In time I will use what money I earn to promote and sell my artwork. I do have life goals and a plan. I am not sailing in an ocean on a row boat. I’m starting in a pond on newspaper. In time I hope to have a yacht and sail in each sea through art and commerce. I am content with a small network of friends. I don’t need much in life to make me happy.
2 months ago

daddy needs you right now so we can chat and have dirty thoughts linda
2 months ago

 I dare you to find a better blog. I don’t write about kittens and shoes.Good one. No you don’t. You’re stories are kinda scary because they’re real. You’re real. I’m real. I don’t see how you survived your earlier years. I would have had a nervous breakdown once a week, or hurt someone and ended up in jail. Somehow you have the disposition to keep trying where others would have collapsed in a mindless puddle of tears.

2 months ago

it is a tough nut to crack to try and appeal to the masses … I think a photo will catch an eye.. but a catchy and very short phrase will draw in some.. as for the average porn junkie .. I think you will lose them if they have to think and read at the same time…pretty hard to do when you eyes are bouncing up and down while jacking off..lol..
2 months ago

You have a PM xx
2 months ago

This is one of my favorite quotes when entering into the unknown. “When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” Get ready for the ride, Lin.
2 months ago

I understand your reason for a long introduction. Everything you said there are well describe guys who will view you knows what to expect. You don’t have to say other are skanky. Each guys have their own preference. Some prefer like that some dont. Some prefer skinny, some Chubby. Some prefer big tits ,some prefer big ass.
2 months ago

I actually quite enjoyed it. My only ‘critique’ would be more of a reminder that you are more intelligent than most people with whom you interact in life (much less on a porn site) and encourage you to not feel burdened by the barrage of stupidity you encounter. One shucks through 10,000 oysters before finding a pearl.
2 months ago

Never before have I seen a woman here who is so intelligent and open and honest about herself, her life and her feelings. Your main page write-up and your blogs take time to read. They must be re-read to fully absorb everything but, that is a pleasant experience. Only read a couple. Look forward to having time to read the rest. Your mind and your artistic endeavors are enough to make a man want to meet you. Your physical appearance is just great icing on the cake. You are truly a unique, interesting person, a person worthwhile knowing for sex or friendship or intellectual discussion. Wising you the best in life!!!! One other thing. You can make men cum talking about the weather. Are you familiar with the NakedNews website?
2 months ago

(husband) I love your candor and how expressive you are. I tend to be or at the least I always worry that Im being long winded with my profile, even though I feel everything I have to say about myself is important. Sometimes it can be hard to convey your desires, needs, things about yourself in textual form, especially if you’re trying to keep it short. Anyway you keep doing things the way it feels right to you. Especially your writing. There are men out there that like to read the long profiles or the well written blogs. Some of us do it for the content and not reading it as if it were a menu with the only intent to see what “he” can get.
tanfan4

retired
2 months ago

I think your profile is just fine Linda…keep it as is sweetie 🙂
2 months ago

Wearing your heart is never a bad thing and should never be changed the most honest trust worthy people are those who are will to show themselfs to the world if more people were honest and fully true with themselfs and other people life would be a lot better if people want you to change they do not fully appreciate who you are, I trick I have found in life is to set small goals and as you get closer to them make them bigger so you are always growing as a person into your goals if you stay positive in life positive will happen
2 months ago

i know that it is long an in depth. I’m trying to explain to the boy who told me i write in circles and repeat myself that it must be done. you know damn well some men aren’t used to reading often. When they do I write on a higher plane than they can grasp. I know it may seem repetitive but I tried so hard to use several ways to make men realize that reading my blog was the only way to contact me or ever earn cam sex. Even on repeat men slammed me with a thousand c2c requests like they didn’t read my profile at all. I can only conclude men look at pics and videos skip reading my profile due to length and hope to score with a message that says ‘hi’ ‘c2c’ or ‘nice tits’
2 months ago

you make me giggle. I know you don’t write much because you don’t realize it took me three times to figure out what the fuck you were saying. don’t take offense but you just wrote your own little circle with major spelling errors. I think I see your point. I do attract smart men like you even when I repeat for dummies. I am not perfect. Smart men realize I am putting a lot out there and grasping that I’m also trying to make myself perfectly clear. I automatically push really stupid men away just when they see an essay instead of a paragraph. It’s an automatic score. I’m aiming for average men. Sometimes people who are just average do need to hear something and have it confirmed in a different phrase. Some average men cant read my work and understand the way I phrase certain issues. I write at a very high level with words average men aren’t used to. So sometimes especially in a profile I use a different way of phrasing myself just in case i lost them the first time. you have to admit I go out of my way for average men to have many ways to understand the same principle. I don’t want confusion. By hammering an issue with different words sometimes I can get through. I didn’t manage to make men grasp reading my blog was the only way to contact me. they slammed me with a thousand pm’s instead. So even repeating the same point average men didn’t get it. I admit I failed. What do you think of my new approach. and yes be honest.
2 months ago

i do wear my heart on my sleeve. it’s who I am. I need to change. I keep getting heart. people keep bailing on me. I know I’m doing something wrong. Finding consistent support doesn’t seem to happen for me. It is on my list of tasks to create an amazon wish list. I just have no clue how to do it. I have no clue if I can link it here or how to make it available. I wish I could say someone in my real life was around to guide me. I have no skills with the internet or doing research. It’s not my cam that is an issue. Its not having a fan to go under my laptop. When it cams it overheats. I think I may still have enough money to buy one. I really can’t do it because I don’t have foodstamps yet and the money I have left must be there to buy food. I wish I could say it will be easy to fix my problems but it isn’t. I also have to afford a usb port hub because I only have one that functions. i can’t make it accept my mic. It terrifies me that I may have broken my third forty dollar mic. to me forty bucks is a fortune. you can never know how hard it was to pawn every bit of jewelry I inherited for a lousy 250 dollars. All I have left is my aunt’s diamond engagement ring and her wedding band encrusted in diamonds. I don’t wear jewelry but im simply crying that i had to loose her favorite pair of gold earrings and these beautiful little rose earrings I have worn since I was a child. I had to do it because there was not a bite of food in my house and I had to eat. I lost two gold chains. a ruby ring. and a pair of gold and diamond earrings that meant so much to me. If i have to lose her wedding bands I think I’ll just have a nervous breakdown. I know this weekend I will take every piece of art and collectibles I own to a flea market to sell trying to earn the money I need to get a fan and fix my audio. I am going to loose priceless things that I cherish. I have no choice. It’s all a mission to fix a laptop that is already seven years old. a man told me he would mail me a cam. i have no idea if it was a bullshit offer. people have promised to help me and not come through over and over. it’s just a sad story. i love my collectibles. I really hate to lose things i love for a couple of dollars a piece. I will even bring my own art collection I paid to have printed and pray someone buys it. I mention it in my new introduction. I have twelve pieces of beautiful work that will be number ones that will be worth a fortune if I make it.
2 months ago

simmer down. i saw that part acually and i also saw the part where you asked for critisim. yes i know how stupid they are. but when you repeat the same thing over and over guys that arent stupid would have lost intrest and quit reading and thats the ones your trying to atract. the stupid ones woild read it at all to even notice it was repeatative. pretty good point i just made there wasnt it
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About lemerris82

My good friends call me Dirt Fizzle. They also call me by my real name and the name Halina Hawthorne. My real name is Lynn. I'm 31, I'm single, I have no children. I'm obsessed with art and printmaking. I'm in nursing school. I hate it. I'd rather be making art or writing. I write. I write about the commonplace and the vulgar. I wonder if other people have this urge to journal? I want to stumble around other members of fucked up individuals that don't sleep at night.

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